20090303

Is it too late to become who I am not? I am sorry i dont know what i want to be. My manifesto of 20060923 I have taken to heart. I have been hurting for too long and I cant take it any more. I cannot take anymore guilt, shame, grief. I have tried dying but i have only been succesful with that on the inside. I havent been able to finish death because of fear. Fear also keeps me from living. I dont want to be stuck in this storm anymore, with the water always rising. Damn if i could just sink or swim. Just give me liberty or give me death. I want purpose or a ball peen hammer to the skull. I want passion or a long walk off a short pier. I want ambition or an cruel twist of fate. I want courage or I just want it all to end. I am tired of hating myself.