20060615


Sunshine warms so weakly
when i hurt so deeply
gaze into the sky i may
warmth wont come today
or tommorrow
or the next

summers over now
ill show her how
sinking lower now
i inhale deeply
white shards
numb the mind
poison thy soul

I wont hurt no
im going to a show
"this one will be
more fun than thr last one
youll see"
I say to me
numb the mind
pioson thy soul

meeting new people
new things to see
knock on a strangers door
curious? maybe
lets just hang out
this time i think
I feel lightheaded
was it those lines
or that drink

losing sight
my grip on reality
"just relax. dont fight it youll like it. just relax man
we wont do anything you dont want to do"
I cant talk
my clothes come off
I drift in and out
cant do anything to stop it

bang bang bang
desecration
bang bang bang
molestation
bang bang
numb the mind
poison thy soul

hazy memories
none i wish to be having
i deserved this
what do i expect
to be treated all of a sudden
with love and respect

no esteem
no ambition
no hope
from up above
its not meant to be
for me to feel loved
i know i can exceed
at one thing
i can give myself abuse
and pain
success at something
its hard to explain
numb the mind
poison the soul

late at night
bent over
tear filled vision
til its over
bang bang bang
til its over
numb the mind
poison the soul

no love
is better than not enough
unknown lovers
they are too rough
there are so many
starting to burn
please slow down
you all get a turn

inside and out
i can taste the shame
sticky retched cum
throat in pain
deny how it feels
it will make me stronger
i can take the pain
dont know for how much longer
numb the mind
poison the soul

ive lost 27 pounds
since the end-of-summer
did things i didnt think i would do
i truly hate my life
the struggle and the strife
disapointing you and you and you
this is nothing new
numb the mind
poison the soul

there is only one reason I am still here
ONE
another three letters spell the name
of my son
i wonder if he would forgive me
i cannot imagine he would
when i ask if he would be better off
i think maybe i should

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